Over the years old Grumpy has often had reason to be grateful
for the nuggets of information provided by my moles in County
Hall.
However, it seems that one of my spies has fallen below the high
standards of accuracy expected.
Early last week, this mole rang me to say the Roger Barrett-Evans
had been ordered not to wear his trademark brightly-coloured handkerchief
in his top pocket.
This seemed an unlikely story.
After all Roger Barrett Evans, a £70,000 year director,
is one of the authority's top guns.
Only one person: the head of paid service, also known as Bryn
Parry-Jones, would have the authority to issue such an order but,
though tales of the Chief Executive's iron control of council
staff abound, it hardly seemed likely that he would be bothering
his head with the director of planning's fashion sense.
This mole has always been very reliable and the past, but something
told me to check the story out, particularly as he had recently
confessed to me that he had developed a partiality for that mind-altering
substance, Chilean Merlot.
So, last Thursday, I toddled along to the planning committee in
search of evidence.
Imagine my disappointment when in walked Mr Barrett Evans with
what look like a yellow pillowcase dangling out of his top pocket.
This means that I must take all the other pearls provided by this
mole with a large pinch of salt.
For instance, it cannot be true that Mr Barrett Evans has been
told by the chief executive that he could be " spending more
time with his family '' unless he defuses the fast-developing
row over the new entrance to Fishguard School (of which more at
a later date) which has all the makings of a first-rate fiasco
to rival Enfield.
I did not, of course, drive all the way to Haverfordwest just
a check-up on Mr Barrett Evans' attire. There were two rather
interesting applications on the agenda involving proposals to
build in the open countryside, both, by happy coincidence, in
the ward of Councillor Desmond " Solomon "Codd, the
most talented bungalow farmer of his generation.
Indeed according to some experts, the greatest ever.
I do not intend to enter into a was-Stanley-Matthews-better-than-George-Best
type of debate, because such questions are basically unanswerable,
but if ever there was a more accomplished bungalow farmer then
Solomon he must have been pretty impressive.
Needless to say, in both cases, the planning officer had recommended
refusal because the proposals contravened policy.
Like all good generals, Solomon has decided to fight at a time
of his own choosing. So he deployed that most reliable of delaying
tactics: the site inspection.
I look forward to the outbreak of real hostilities at the next
meeting.
After all, Enfield is in Solomon's ward, and the first time that
came before the committee Chief Planning Officer David Lawrence
told members that it was "crystal clear" that it was
against policy and should be refused.
A couple of months later after a bit of arm-twisting by the bungalow
farming brotherhood Mr Lawrence declared that a revised proposal
submitted by the applicant constituted a mere "technical
breach" and could safely be passed.
When a Welsh Office Inspector was eventually called in to determine
the application, he found that the second application was actually
further outside policy than the original.
Old Grumpy waits, fascinated, to see what heroic feats of twisted
logic and syntax Solomon comes up with this time around.
Readers may remember the case of the three county council refuse
collection workers: suspended from duty for slipping into the
Bristol Trader for a quick pint at the end of their shift.
This was, no doubt, a silly thing to do, especially as the pub
is directly under the watchtowers of County Hall.
Looking through some old minutes on Sunday afternoon, I came across
a report on a meeting held on June 18th, 2001 to hear their appeal
against sentence.
Employees 02 7224 (the driver) had been docked two week's pay
and demoted to loader ''as a penalty for gross misconduct ''.
In addition he recieved '' a combined first and final warning
(to be held on file for three years) "
His mates, employees number 0027132 and 029220, were also deducted
two weeks' pay and given a first and final written warning (to
be held on file for two years) "
I suppose it is difficult to demote a loader.
The minutes record that, following the hearing of the case the
men and their representatives withdrew from the chamber ''while
the sub-committee deliberated, served by their head of personnel,
as secretary to the appeals committee ''.
Needless to say, their appeals were dismissed.
Presumably, the head of personnel had nothing whatsoever to do
with setting the original punishment, otherwise any appeal procedure
in which he was involved would be in breach of the fundamental
principle of Natural Justice: that a man cannot be the judge in
his own cause
Old Grumpy reads that the electoral commission, concerned about
the low turnout (59 per cent) at the general election, is minded
to recommend that party political broadcast should be scrapped.
Apparently, whenever we hear the words " this is a party
political broadcast on behalf of - - - ", we reach for the
off button and head for the kitchen to make a cup of tea.
As an alternative, we are to be treated to 10-second sound bites
(not enough time to pick up and aim the zapper) on the American
model
The only snag with this is that at the last US presidential election,
the turnout was, um, er, 49 per cent.
Mr Blair is running into heavy flak over his proposals to involve
private companies in the provision of public services.
Dave Prentis, the general secretary of Unison has warned of strike
action unless his members are allowed to retain their present
terms and conditions of employment.
Presumably, this means he fears the private sector will offer
his members a less attractive deal.
This is bad news for the 65 per cent of us who eke out a living
in the non-nationalised industries.
Not only are we being screwed by our wicked, profit-seeking bosses,
but we are also expected to cough up extra taxes so that Mr Prentis's
members can be paid more than market rates.
If Mr Prentis believed in social justice for all, he would be
calling for the restoration of Clause Four - the public ownership
of the means of production, distribution and exchange - so that
we might all benefit from the state's largesse.
Old Grumpy hears that the ruling Independents are in a blue
funk over the possibility that Pembrokeshire might have an elected
mayor.
While many of them are not the sharpest knives in the drawer,
they have concluded, correctly in my view, that if the electorate
are given the opportunity to choose a mayor it will not be one
of them.
And a mayor, looking for talent with which to populate his or
her Cabinet, will not be over thrilled by much of what is on offer
on the Independent benches.
That being the case, many of them could find themselves joining
Old Grumpy in the ranks of "yesterday's men ".
I have even heard a rumour that a prominent member of the Independent
Political (sic) Group has been running around encouraging members
of staff to sign up for Option 2 (Leader with Cabinet).
I can only assume that this is another mole whose brain has become
addled with cheap red wine because such action would be entirely
improper.
However, given the Independents' less than total enthusiasm for
the rule of law, my mole's tale is not entirely unbelievable.
Some of them will stop at nothing to maintain their grip on power.
If there is anyone in County Hall who can confirm this story -
in complete confidence of course - then Old Grumpy would be more
than pleased to hear from them.