I have been dying to use that heading for a long time, but not being 100% sure of my facts, and having no ambition to put in an appearance in the libel courts, I hesitated.
As part of the audit committee’s review/investigation of the administration of commercial property grants in Pembroke and Pembroke Dock, a data room has been set up where all the files on the various projects can be inspected by elected members.
Unfortunately, the council’s Monitoring Officer has decreed that only one member at a time is allowed into the room.
That means that I am unable to directly steer those members with less knowledge of the issues into more profitable lines of enquiry.
However, I do notice that the officer in charge of these grants is present to put the council’s side of the story, though he hasn’t put in an appearance during any of my six visits.
The other problem is that members are only allowed to see the information on conditions of confidentiality, so, other than to say that it is interesting, I am unable to enlighten you further.
But all is not lost because I have certain documents obtained under FoI legislation which are in the public domain.
And, as they say, there’s more ways to skin a cat…
During his, now, infamous speech at full council on December 12, Cabinet member for the economy, Cllr David Pugh, referred, sarcastically, to my “self-proclaimed expertise” in matters related to construction.
This was a reference to my statement at a previous Cabinet meeting that I knew more about building than the whole of the Cabinet put together.
I should say that knowing more than members of the Cabinet doesn’t necessarily equate to expertise.
However, I do have some experience in these matters and one of the things I do know something about is slating roofs.
You may think fixing slates is a simple operation – you start with alternate full and half (or one-and-a-half slates) at one verge and work your way across until you reach the other end of the roof.
Without going into all the technicalities, I can say that it vastly more complicated than that.
Indeed, one of the most important tasks when slating a roof takes place down on the ground.
To the untrained eye, one slate looks much the same as another, but if you look a bit closer you will notice that they vary in thickness.
If you nail a thick slate next to a thin one, it is impossible to make the slate on the next course up, which overlaps both of them, sit flat (see photo).
So the first job is to go through the slates and sort them into thick, medium and thin.
While carrying out this task the skilled slater will also be on the lookout for unusable twisted slates.
Rejecting these at this stage will save him the trouble of carrying them up the ladder and back down again.
The thicker slates are laid on the lower courses, then the mediums and finally the thin ones at the top.
Loading out the roof, therefore, becomes more than just hauling the slates up the ladder a placing them on the roof.
A well-laid slate roof is something of a work of art, and it doesn’t take long for someone with even a half-trained eye to spot whether a roof has been slated by a competent roofer.
Over the past few months I have had reason to take an interest in the newly reslated roof which appears in the photo below.
Immediately noticeable is the rather thick horizontal line – level with the top of the rooflights – which is evidence that these slates were not sorted for thickness beforehand.
There are also instances of thick slates being laid next to thin with the inevitable result.
Slaters also have to be adept at the leadwork which is essential to keep out the water.
This is particularly important at the abutments between a roof and a wall as shown on the right of the picture where the water is kept out by means of soakers – L-shaped pieces of lead which slip under each slate with the other arm of the L up against the wall.
To prevent water getting down behind the soakers the whole thing is finished off with a cover-flashing, one part of which is sunk into the wall and the other dressed down over the soakers.
I don’t think it requires much expertise to see that the soakers on this roof are not new, nor is there any sign of a cover-flashing.
I notice that the FoI copy of the Bills of Quantities calls for 85 soakers, which attract a 70% grant.
Another strange thing is that there are 26 courses of slates and only 17 soakers when there should be the same number of each.
There are other aspects of this roof which may be of interest to the audit committee, not the least of which is that there are 222 sq metres of slates in the Bills of Quantities that accompanied the tender and only 130 on the actual roof.
Of course, there may have been adjustments in the final account to compensate for over-measurement and work left undone.
Who knows, the council’s project officer might have given his consent to the reuse of the old soakers and reduced to grant accordingly.
Then again…
What I also know through FoI is that you and I, the taxpayers, contributed a 70% grant of £9,882 (gross £14,117) to this shoddy piece of work , which, my “self-proclaimed expertise” tells me, is at least twice as much as it actually cost.
Following the December meeting of council, I found myself next to Jamie Adams in the queue for Christmas lunch.
Ever willing to share the wisdom accumulated in my 73 years on the planet with younger members of the council, I turned to him and said: “You’ve backed the wrong horse, Jamie”.
“I think not” was his curt reply.
All I can say is that I won’t be rushing to swap his betting slip for mine.